CLARION, Pa. (NOT) – As renovations continue at the historic Clarion County Courthouse, commissioners revealed a controversial—and hairy—new development: the iconic Lady Justice statue atop the courthouse spire will be permanently replaced with a 12-foot plywood silhouette of Bigfoot.

The decision, according to Commissioner Braxton White, is part of a new “Clarion Identity Rebranding Initiative” meant to “modernize tradition while embracing regional folklore.”

“Look, Lady Justice has served us well, but she doesn’t exactly scream ‘Clarion,’” said White during Tuesday’s meeting. “Bigfoot, on the other hand, represents everything we stand for: mystery, strength, and occasional sightings at the Autumn Leaf Festival.”

The plywood cutout—crafted entirely from reclaimed pallets found behind the former Sorce Warehouse—features a waving Bigfoot holding what appears to be a court summons in one hand and a pumpkin-spice latte in the other.

“A Symbol of Justice… and Maybe Something More”

Ted Tharan, the commissioner leading the courthouse’s outdoor aesthetics committee, said the replacement was originally suggested by a maintenance worker during a lunch break debate over whether Bigfoot would ever win a civil suit.

“It just kind of snowballed from there,” Tharan admitted. “Before we knew it, someone had already sketched it on a napkin and submitted it to the Pennsylvania Historical Society. Surprisingly, they approved it—likely thinking we were kidding.”

However, not everyone is thrilled.

Local resident Barbara Leafbottom, a longtime member of the Clarion Historical Preservation Society, called the move “an affront to both justice and plywood.”

“Lady Justice stands for fairness, equality, and due process,” she said. “Bigfoot has never even served jury duty.”

Funded by Federal Grant and Cryptid Enthusiasts

The silhouette, estimated to cost $347.11 (including clear-coat sealant), is funded partially by a USDA grant intended for “public structure upgrades of significant cultural interest.” The rest is being crowdfunded through the local Facebook group “Clarion County Cryptid Club,” whose motto is “We Believe, Barefoot or Not.”

Senator John Fetterman, when asked for comment, simply replied via text: “Honestly, kind of rules.”

What’s Next?

While commissioners stress this is part of a broader effort to “bring Clarion into the spotlight,” plans are also rumored to include:

  • Installing motion-activated glowing red eyes in the dome, “just for fun.”
  • Offering Bigfoot selfie tours once scaffolding is removed.
  • And renaming the courthouse to the Clarion County Hall of Hidden Justice.

Work on the Bigfoot installation is scheduled to begin shortly after antifreeze is added to the courthouse chiller system and once the commissioners finalize the creature’s legal name for insurance purposes.

For now, Lady Justice is being stored safely in the basement, where she will be joined by old filing cabinets, leftover tile samples, and the last remaining map of where each department moved.

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